It’s shameful for most of the people whom they think that what kind of disgusting creature they have fell for. First impression doesn’t last forever which is very much true when we talk about relationships. Just think that why so many relationships fail to prosper in the longer term.
Just think why so many people feel their relationship is useless or unworthy after spending significant time with the person. It’s because they get to know, they get to understand their behaviour, their attitude towards others and relationship.
It’s very much important to put yourself under self-control and not to let your expectations overflow or pass the limit. Many times it is seen that humans feel for someone when they see good in them. They don’t try to interfere with their poor qualities which can further lead to frustration and lack of desire to continue with the relationship.
You can relate this with the example of a product which you routinely use at home. What makes you buy a product at very first sight? Of course it is the brand name which has gained popularity over the years. And there’s also trust of the customers who have used it.
But then the question still revolves around our mind that what leads to dissatisfaction when we see some flaws in the same product? I mean that when a person uses it, they appreciate it and don’t complain. But when some other individual uses it, he/she complains of lack of superior qualities of what they had promised.
We still buy products according to the reviews and ratings which are provided by the customers. Potentially there are high chances that your product will fulfil your expectations. But when you use it frequently, there will be some problem which might make you feel betrayed. There’s nothing called as perfection, there’s nothing called as superior.
What I am trying to justify is our expectations won’t always match the reality. There’s thirty percent weightage in your expectation, which will just be your dream forever and cannot ever take place in your life. Why we get intolerant is when we only focus on the thirty percent of our expectation and ignore the rest seventy percent of what already has been fulfilled.
Acceptance is when you focus on what is already fulfilled and discard the rest of the expectations. There are these two types of people in this world. One who always complain because of unfulfilled expectations and another who remains happy of what has been already done.
Acceptance can only take place when we know that’s there’s a fault in the person or product but we don’t complain or write three paras of long negative review. Don’t get stuck up in what’s not happening with you because it might never ever happen. And that’s where so many of our long term relationships can never ascend peaks.
Try to convert your complaints into a complement. This is my very personal opinion. Try to convince yourself, your thoughts that the negatives should be conveyed to the person in a hopeful way of improvements in the future.
This is where you will start appreciating the person whom you call as your life partner. And as you spend your quality time with the person while accepting every flaw, you will make your bond stronger than ever.
DON’T BECOME TOO MUCH POSSESSIVE ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
We humans get attached to things, people very easily and when we start caring for them, we expect them to become our personal property. Making a person your personal property is not acceptable in any kind of relationship. It’s evil to gain control over person whom we actually can never have control on.
You can say that you are owner of a tangible and immovable asset such as your estate. Yes, you have spent money to buy it but don’t ever compare your estate with relationships. You neither own a relationship nor have a complete control over it. Even a job that you provide to your employees is only limited in terms of money.
You cannot force your employees to bow down and make them your slaves. Of course if there is such behaviour then they will resign from the organization. Similar is the case with our relationships. If you are forcing someone to behave as per your way then ultimately the person will get divorce papers ready.
When there are options available in front of us, we try to overcome our fears in order to grab them. An acceptable behaviour is necessary to make the relationship survive in the longer term. If the behaviour is abusive, violent then that behaviour will eventually implode the relationship.
You can become possessive over what you have worked hard for which only includes non-living things. Apart from that there’s nothing you can keep in your personal possession forever. Every living being is free and once they get an opportunity they might never turn back.
So when you accept a relationship, you let them enjoy their personal freedom, you let them do what they want to do. You don’t feel attached to the person or feel yourself victim of their wrong doings. That’s what acceptance mean!
You Can Also Read:
1. Why You Shouldn’t Sacrifice For An Unworthy Relationship
2. Why We Shouldn’t Set Money As An Only Inspiration
3. Why We Should Not Underestimate Others