How To Maintain Your Independence In A Relationship

Independence

Relationship one of the best bonds in the world but at the same time it can be worst if you are not able to maintain it. A lot of people think that a relationship is only defined in terms of girlfriend and boyfriend or wife and husband. A relationship can be between anyone. What do you think when someone talks about relationship? Of course a couple what we had discussed above.

But actually a relationship is not only define in terms of husband and wife but also in terms of comfort and understanding. In this decade itself the world has accepted the marital status between two same genders. Though there are myths still followed but most of the parts around the world have realised this kind of relationships too. We all have freedom and love has no boundaries.

It is our cheap thoughts which have created unworthy boundaries. But when we talk about independence we are required to maintain a personal boundary. In simple terms this is a healthy way to keep a relationship secure. Many times it happens that when two people who are in a relationship fight with each other, they hold on with a very common feeling.

This feeling can be miserable, hurtful as well as painful. This feeling is created because of the reason that the other person has not recognized those thoughts. It can be anything which has caused anger between them. So in such a case this can lead to temporary fights. And during that period they might leave each other alone for seeking mental peace.

So a person who is attached to the other significant one will feel guilty at the same time. And after sometime he/she might not be able to hold on those feelings. Dependence on someone can lead to attachment. For example, think yourself as a six month old baby. You know that you will require breastfed milk since it will fulfil your thirst and hunger at the same time.

But now suppose your mother leaves you alone for a time being in order to go for shopping. There is no one at home and you have woke up in the middle of the sleep. You are very hungry and you need your mother to feed you. Hours pass by and she doesn’t return back. So in such a case can you do something? Of course not because this is a complete dependence over someone. And you might get to a point that you will start crying because of hunger.

Complete dependence can be very fatal for our own development. This is because we totally depend on someone to complete our basic needs. In case of relationship between partners, there is a similar kind of problem. When a person depends for love, affection, comfort from the other half, then he/she falls in an attachment.

No one knows how this can happen because it is a natural process. This takes place especially in kind of sensitive relationship. So we all got to know that a complete dependence can really be harmful. So what should we expect from the other half? It is a very common question and people never find their answers because at the first place they fall over expectations. Human beings cannot complete someone’s expectation.

Either they will do it for their benefit or completely disagree over it. There is nothing in between. That’s why one has to take care of not falling in expectations which are dependent on someone. We never know that how someone can make us insecure. Even the calmest person can turn in to extreme frustrated individual.

Respect

LISTEN TO THEIR PERSPECTIVE AND RESPECT THEM

A relationship is said to be toxic when there is no respect towards the other person’s thoughts. Cheap or rich it doesn’t matter what they are thinking. But it is important to respect their thought process. Positive or negative thought is the second part but remember whatever a person thinks can only be understood if your respect him/her.

There are certain kind of relationships in which a person who has good amount of wisdom, judgements helps the other one to grow keeping in mind about the treatment. Yes, people do change when a person whom they love tries to motivate them to so. Whereas, when you force someone to change, you are not only disrespecting their thoughts but also hurting their feelings.

This can lead to unhealthy boundaries between two people. We all have different way of thinking. And a relationship with a person can be uneasy since both of you have variable suggestions. And that is why only few of those bonds survive because of this differentiation.

This is because such differentiation is taken as an ego and when the other person doesn’t respect it, one might get hurt. So before you try to pick on a fight remember this problem first.

ChaseNEVER TRY TO CHASE THEM INSTEAD LEAD THE BOND

How many of you have experienced this when you visit your grandparent’s house. When we visit our grandparent’s home they often chase us for attention, special care, feeding meals. There is different kind of attention given to children and this is because of their attachment over our happiness.

If we are happy they are happy. And they can even find out what is wrong with us through our actions. And in such cases they will try to give special attention. Similar is with our parents. Their love is great and because of that they only keep following us. This is a paternal and maternal relationship but when it comes to partners, the scenario is quite different.

A person who is always chasing the other half can get drained up. This can lead to negative impact over mental, physical and emotional health of the chaser. And the one who is always leading the way will never ever feel you. He or she will never know that you were trying to take care by hiding yourself. And such kind of relationship never ever grows in the future. This basically happens with people who are shy or those who try to hide their feelings even if they care.

Some do so in order to clear their personal doubts. They don’t show it in public or even to them because they feel it might be insecure. Chasing someone will never pay your hard work. I know some people who are brilliant detectives, waste their time keeping track of their significant ones.

And when they find that person cheating on them, they fall suddenly into depression. It’s better to talk at that moment itself because a relationship is a mutual feeling and it will only flourish when both of them try their best to keep it growing.

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