How many times do you ask your parents that should I do it or not. It’s so common that majority of children ask their parents first in order to proceed further. Even while choosing their favorite toy they will first think about their friends first. What kind of model they are using and where did they bought from. They clear such questions and then in order to impress friends they choose a better and expensive one. What we nowadays call as a brand. Once people start purchasing product of that brand, then others also get influenced by them. And that’s how we are approving ourselves and connecting each other on the basis of this kind of validation.
Take another example which happens all the time. Whenever we do a good work, or help someone during worst time, we try to seek recognition or at least need that feeling of appreciation.
And you know what happens after that is we drain our energy when we don’t get the same amount of recognition from others. We constantly think about when will someone find us of what we have done and make us feel good.
This is absolutely crazy and trust me it will annoy you so much because you will always feel worthless of your work. And then we think of doing wrong things or else we criticize others for not recognizing our work. This is the kind of cycle we are going through all the time almost 24 hours of the day.
But first of all why do we think of getting recognition? Why do we need appreciation from others? Is that they are more mature than us or are they older in age? Do you know we humans hardly try to think about someone’s hard work. And appreciating it doesn’t even lie in our values.
People are busy in defeating with their competitors and to become wealthy as early as possible. So how can you even think that they will put their work aside and celebrate your success. This is because they themselves are struggling and running behind to make their lives successful.
You might have heard that whenever you try to ask for help from your close people, they constantly give reason that they don’t have time. It’s a valid reason but unfortunately we all are sailing in the same boat.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE MEANINGLESS IF THEY ARE REQUIRED TO BE FIT IN OTHERS SUGGESTION
You might have seen a marriage which is purely chosen by parents and the other kind of marriage which we need not require to focus on parent’s approval. Simply it means we have greater amount of flexibility.
But most of the marriages where parents discard the thoughts of their children turn into divorces. This is because they never listen to what their children is trying to say or if he/she is happy with the relationship. Such kind of relationships only work on the basis of entitlement.
Those kind of relationships only remain as relationship and nothing else. There’s no love, joy between them and then they end up separating themselves and getting new entitlement of divorced.
How careless can we be, isn’t it? But that cannot be changed, this is because we will still prefer to act same since we are shaped with those same values and mentality. And we prefer to be what we were before.
So what will you do if your parents try to force you with their thoughts? Will you accept it or fight against it? Approval from the external environment destroys our own freedom and belief which we have in ourselves.
What future can we think of if we are dependent on someone else’s suggestion in order to run a relationship? Another major reason of not seeking validation is that others might not know your capabilities or how you can deal with it. And they can start expecting things which is beyond your capabilities.
When you try to remake a relationship according to the expectations of others, then you will never be able to make a perfect one. It’s absolutely true because their expectations will always kill you internally.
Relationships only flourish when there’s connection only between two people. There shouldn’t be third person involved what we are actually seeing nowadays. If relationships try to seek acceptance from the people around them then they are actually questioning their existence.
And you know this gives rise to complexity in the relationship. People who truly love their partner will always maintain privacy no matter what kind of problems they are facing. True relationships will sit together and try to solve the problem by themselves. If it requires someone help then they will only take suggestion from their most trusted person.
And that’s what we call as relationship. Today we can’t even wait to discuss with our friends what shit happened in their relationship. There’s no privacy and most importantly we wait for others to answer our personal problems. And yet we think how mature we are. Remember that it’s better to stay away from this culture for the peace of your own mind.
You Can Also Read:
1. Why You Shouldn’t Invest In Schemes Which Promise High Returns
2. What Should You Do When You Are Blamed
3. How To Maintain Your Independence In A Relationship