Youngsters say breakup hurts the most. Really? Because more than breakup there are other important opportunities in life you would have gone missing if this breakup would never had happened. People judge their growth depending on how their relationship is working and the way their partner is treating them.
I have seen people who trust their relationship so much that they get trapped in the bubble of hope and growth. How many times you have blamed yourself when your partner went wrong in his/her commitment? How many times you felt bad when your partner was not putting efforts in the relationship?
These feelings seem to be okay in the short term but when we take responsibilities of our partner’s action then in the longer term we tend to hold on our partner and their mistakes. There’s always an expectation building in a form of hope which can make you feel happy or sad depending upon the mood of your partner.
These hopes will simply make you feel frustrated and unfortunately you will fall into depression because of your partner. Actually it’s not even your partner’s mistake because you have got yourself attached to him/her. And that’s where majority of people never withdraw themselves from a toxic relationship.
A relationship becomes toxic when you take your partner’s action personally. If he/she fails you get hurt. If he/she makes mistakes you try to convince him/her. Unhealthy attachments are the primary reason for you blaming yourself for falling in so called love.
Breakups are the unfortunate way to end even the longest relationship. People break up physically but mentally they keep wondering about their exes. And then again they try to find out some way to talk to their exes. So will that solve the problem?
When a person doesn’t realizes his/her mistake then it’s definitely better to leave them alone. Because if you try to comfort them then they will make the issue even more complex. Remember that whatever that has happened to you is not because of them but it’s because of your mindset.
Yes, you are definitely right. Because of our mindset we try to put out things according to our perspective. For example when we see our friends having a great and amazing relationship, we also feel the same. And afterwards in the longer term we realise whatever we tried to do was a complete mess.
No matter whatever you choose, it might be your career or a relationship, there’s mess everywhere. It all depends on us and our strategy that we use to organize this mess. A career with some amount of hard work and determination suiting your capabilities can be achieved.
But a relationship you want with someone is not always going to work according to your career. You will give your best from your side but what about him/her. If you like to be a one sided lover then you can definitely proceed and if you want your partner to show affection equally then you shouldn’t even think to continue.
DON’T COMPARE YOUR PARENT’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE 21ST CENTURY
If you have been inspired by your parents and older people that a husband wife relationship means forever then you are completely wrong. Try to understand that 21st century has largely remained uncompromised over technology. There’s something new to explore and at the same time it has also developed a virtual relationship.
A virtual relationship might look comfortable and can be hassle-free but at the same time its killing us in new ways. Dating sites, video calls mostly used for building virtual relationship with strangers, explicit content in form of videos and images has seen as a way to deal with the concept of relationship.
Parents living in fifties and sixties never imagined that it could have been that easy as the technology during that time was not so impressive. Yet they are grateful for not being involved in such shit. This technology itself has promoted toxic relationship because of higher expectations.
The more you try to comfort through technology the more it will put you in trouble. These ultrahigh expectations have been developed because of improvement in technology.
One another important point to note is that because of technology people have changed their perception. Simply there has been increase in level of mistrust. No one wants to gain sympathy over someone quickly and often we try to puke our negative emotions through some online source.
Because of technology people are finding new ways to cheat and that is why a lot of people get trapped in the same shit. So anyhow this is not going to end and we have to keep moving with it.
A breakup is okay but breaking up with yourself for someone is not going to help you. Don’t build your personal relationships with the help of technology rather try to be present physically and mentally with them. You will understand them a lot better than virtually meeting them. Never fall into attachments because you will find difficult to get through it.
And lastly if nothing helps you then it’s better to leave them alone and move on. Remember to take nothing personally and acknowledge yourself that you are human, you make mistake and you are learning through it.
You Can Also Read:
1. Why You Should Read Handful Of Self-Help Books
2. Why You Should Avoid Plagiarism
3. Why You Should Not Rush Into Marriage